Mourning the Cross

Its just like any other summer afternoon around here today.  The World Cup is on (and Germany is destroying Brazil), the girls are cleaning their rooms (and playing), I am enjoying my second cup of coffee and the dog is asleep on the couch (the old couch that we almost got rid of but now Sassy has claimed).  My sweet and very emotional 5 year old comes out of her room in tears. This is not like every other afternoon.  She is holding a James Avery box.  It is the box that her cross came in for Christmas this past year.

To understand the importance of this cross you must first know that I have a cross just like it.  It was given to me 10 years ago this past May 16th at a graduation lunch celebrating my graduation from college.  The lunch was the day after my wedding and I got to celebrate with a lot of my family that I normally wouldn't have seen.  The cross was a gift from my Uncle John and Aunt Jane.  It was my first piece of James Avery jewelry and I wear it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  This has become more special to me in recent years as my sweet Aunt Jane unexpectedly passed away 2 years ago this Fall.  There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't look down at my necklace, or adjust the clasp, or reach up and touch it, and think of the Amazing woman of love, kindness and Faith that Jane was.   Both girls through the years always loved my cross.  They would touch it and play with it and Bria in particular would always tell me if my clasp was in the front...usually she would say "uh Momma...something is wrong with your necklace!  Let me fix it!"  So this past Christmas, Mike and I decided to get the girls their own cross necklace.

Well, this June both necklaces ended up breaking.  Mary Kate was taking off her shirt and the necklace got caught on her shirt and pulled and it snapped; and Brianna asked me to wear her necklace so that she wouldn't lose it or break it at ballet camp and a friend's baby grabbed it an snapped the chain!  Sadness ensued!  Luckily James Avery warranties their chains since they don't fix these particular chains.  So we got two new ones for the girls.  They have been wearing them and loving them.

Now we are back to Brianna in tears with her James Avery box.  The "OLD" box...to her old necklace.  She remembered what had happened to her old one and she was sad.  Saddened to tears.  It took her a little while to calm down.  In all of this I reminded her that she had a new one that she was wearing and had been wearing, but it didn't seem to matter.  in that moment all that mattered was what had been lost.

As I sat there trying to help her through her emotional turmoil I realized something.  Are you  ready for it...because I surely wasn't.   ITS OK TO MOURN OUR LOSS/BROKENNESS.   Now I am not talking about losing a loved one, although that applies, but generally it is accepted to mourn someone who passes away.  I am talking about mourning the intangibles....the relationships fallen apart, the dreams lost, the hope shattered, the desire for more babies that may never be a reality, our sinfulness and what it did to our Saviour Jesus Christ.  Yeah...it hit me.  Because if I am truly honest, If I let myself mourn the loss, the brokenness of these intangibles: I might not stop.  It might be real.  I might have to move on in a real way...not some fake "I'm ok, you're ok, we're all ok" way.  To be completely honest I have tricked myself into thinking that if I am just happy and full of hope every month and ignore the pain and sorrow inside that maybe...just maybe...my reward will be one last pregnancy. 

But alas....thats not really how it works.  In fact I was reminded this week by a friend through her blog post that I need to be content in the waiting.  That does not mean that I should not mourn what is lost.  It does not mean that I have to understand God's perfect plan to use what I view as suffering for His glory.  It does not mean that to cry  is to doubt His goodness.  It means that this world is broken just like my daughter's cross necklace.  And sometimes we need to stop and mourn the brokenness.  Cry over what was lost...and then Praise the Lord that He sent his perfect Son to die for my sins in my brokenness when I didnt deserve His grace.  Praise the Lord that He has made a way for us to be reunited with Him in Heaven one day.  Praise the Lord that on that day it is written in His word :

Revelation 21:4 ESV

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Money saving breakfast

So like most moms in America, breakfast is the craziest meal of the day.  We are trying to get the kids up and out the door and if you work outside the home as well it can be even crazier.  Used to be we threw some cereal in a cup and they ate on the way.  But for me...I dont do cereal.  If I dont have some protein I am cranky!  I LOVE EGGS!  If you know me you can attest to this.  I would eat them every meal of every day.  I LOVE THEM!   So lately we have been buying those Jimmy Dean Delites.  Win win right?  Protein for me...low calorie for me...kids love them too.  Here's the catch: they are like $6 for 4 sandwiches.  A good alternative to eating out, but not a cost effective breakfast.  When you multiply that by three people for the week it is $24 for breakfast.   I didn't think I had a good option. 

Yesterday I was watching The Kitchen on food network and they were making breakfast sandwiches.  Score!  When I went grocery shopping yesterday I got what I needed and today I made up 20 breakfast sandwiches which should last almost 2 weeks. I did not follow the recipe exactly, infact I only used it as inspiration.  It was pretty simple.  I mixed up the eggs in a bowl and baked them in the oven for 12 minutes on 425*.  Halfway through I sprinkled a cup of cheese over the top.  Then I took it out, let it cool and cut it into 20 squares. 

Then I cooked the bacon.  I used half a slice of jalapeno bacon for each sandwich but you could use more if desired.  

Then I assembled the sandwiches.  I placed a square of Egg and cheese mixture on the mini bagel topped with the bacon the the top of the bagel.  Wrap it up tight in Saran wrap and put them in a zip lock. 

I used quart bags and put 4 sandwiches per bag.  Put them in the freezer.  When I take them out I will unwrap them, wrap them in a paper towel, microwave on low for 1 1/2 minutes and high for 45 seconds. update: I heated them up this morning...they were delicious!!! but here are updated warming times based on my microwave-1 min 15 sec on low (about level 3 power) and then 30 sec on high.  

Here is the cost break down:
20 eggs @ $0.13/egg= $2.60
2 bags of whole wheat mini bagels @ $2.98/bag= $5.96
1 lb bacon (depends on brand) =$3.99
1/2 bag shredded cheese @ $2/bag= $1.00

TOTAL= $12.55  for 20 sandwiches (it actually was less since the bacon was from my parents when they moved but for cost comparison I will go with this) 

To compare it would be $30 for 20 breakfast sandwiches.  It works out to $2.51/box instead of $6/box.  

I also should mention that the delites version of this is 220 calories and this version is 212 calories according to myfitnesspal recipe calculator.  Pretty comparable. 

And it really didnt take that long to put together.  In my opinion...TOTALLY WORTH IT!  I am excited to try this with other varieties, maybe some salsa in the eggs, sausage or ham instead of bacon, the possibilities are endless.  You could also do egg whites only to cut some calories and cholesterol.  This has literally rocked my world!  

This little guy was watching my every move with the bacon and eggs...I would be lying if I didn't say his cuteness got him a few scraps!  

So...Its been a while...

It was brought to my attention by a certain sister of mine who has issues updating her blog and lives out of the country (therefore the blog being my only way of keeping up with her) that I have not updated my blog in a while.

Really wasn't a surprise to me...Life has been one big carnival ride since August.  Let me catch you up a little bit (although I know a lot of you already know most of this):

August:  We started August with a Richardson Family vacation.  My parents, grandparents, both sisters and their husbands, and all 8 grandkids descended upon a lake house on Lake Brownwood. We had no cell service and is probably one of my favorite vacations ever.  We played games, talked, cooked, did crafts with the kids, fished, bonded, loved, and even snuck in a little daddy daughter lunch date with us 3 girls and my dad.  We were sad that it had to end.  

September:  The end of August and beginning of September started our school year for the girls.  Mary Kate started in 3rd grade and Brianna started full day Pre-k.  They both loved it and loved their teachers!   September also brought Mike's last (hopefully) year of his Master's Degree.  In order to help pay tuition and gas expenses commuting from Rotan, I started working as a substitute teacher in a nearby town.  I was fortunate enough to be assigned quickly to a one week long term sub position in 5th grade and then to a one month long term sub position in 4th grade.

October:  The end of the month brought the resignation of the teacher that I was subbing for for the one month position.  It was not entirely unexpected.  I was told that if I could get certified before the next board meeting then they would vote on my contract...oh and the next board meeting was mid November.  I frantically registered for the EC-6 Generalist Teachers test and an Alternative Certification Program.

November:  On Saturday Nov. 2nd I took the teachers test on about a weeks notice.  On Tuesday the 5th I found out I passed the test and on Friday Nov 15th I signed my first teaching contract.  It was definitely not what we had planned for the year but it has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling opportunities I have had the pleasure of having.  I never imagined myself as a working mom, and yet now I can't imagine myself not teaching.  I try not to think about how dumb I was when I decided to change my major a semester before graduating college and didn't do my student teaching.  Never make major life decisions when you are 20!! I wish someone had told me how stupid I was being and made me finish my degree in teaching then when I was literally student teaching away from being certified.  Not that I would have listened.  But anyways, I digress.   The week before Thanksgiving brought the Nutcracker and my two little ballerinas were in it.  MK was a mouse and Bria was an angel.  They did an amazing job and we enjoyed ever second of it.  We were also glad when it was over as we had a lot of rehersals!!!

December:  December brought snow and ice early.  We had an unseasonably cold winter this year as did the rest of the country.  We celebrated Christmas at our house this year and enjoyed having our own traditions.  It was a relaxing day.  My parents came out and celebrated with us and helped us eat a fabulous dinner.

January:  January brought big changes to our household.  After much prayer and consideration, we decided to move the girls to the school I am working at.  It is a bigger school with more opportunities for GT instruction for MK and also it is a lot more convenient for me especially with Mike out at school every monday.  This also meant that the girls changed ballet schools and now go to one in the same city I work in.  We absolutely love Ballet Abilene and miss it dearly but I am thankful that we can have the girls in a ballet program.    As a BONUS!!! at the beginning of January we found out that Mike passed his fall semester of Hebrew and was only one semester of Hebrew away from graduating!!

February:  The end of January MK finished as the runner up in the 3rd grade spelling bee (2nd out of 36 in the spelling bee, but out of 230 3rd graders in the school), so in February, on Valentine's Day, we went and watched her compete in the Regional Spelling Bee against 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th graders.  She did quite well and finished 6th ahead of many of the Junior High kids!  We were so proud and she is already planning her trip to the National Spelling Bee next year!!  February also brought the move of my parents.  They were called as the Pastor of Northwest Hills Baptist Church in San Antonio Texas.  It was very sad to see them go after living near them for the past 4 years.  We have cherished that time to be so close and can't express how much we miss them!! However, we know God has big plans for them in San Antonio and they are so excited for a fresh start and a new house and a new church and the "Big City"!!

March:  This month has been so busy already even though we are only 10 days in.  It started with my Principal calling me into the office and asking me to take a position next year teaching 5th grade Math.  This is a great opportunity and I am so excited.  The move was based on my out of the box teaching strategies and how well she has seen me do.  This was a major boost of confidence for me as I sometimes still doubt myself and my effectiveness as a teacher.  This week is Spring Break and I haven't been so happy for it since college!  That is also why I have time to type up this lovely post.  We are relaxing in San Antonio with my mom and doing all the touristy stuff like visiting the local Emergency ROom...what?  Wait....you don't normally do that as a tourist...well let me tell you, the Emergency Department at CHRISTUS Santa Rosa Hospital Westover Hills is phenomenal.  Trust me...we saw them all as they all came in to try to figure out what the rash that was consuming my daughters body was.  They didn't figure it out but they ruled out all the bad stuff and we still thought they did a great job.  We will head to Austin tomorrow or Wednesday and visit Kim before heading back to Rotan and Mike who is missing us!!

Well...I would love to say that I will update this again in a couple days or regularly for the rest of the year, but I can't.  Truth is I don't know when I will update it.  I have about a million blog post running around in my head, but no time to blog it.   I hope that I will have time this summer to catch everyone up again, and who knows, maybe I will surprise us all and post something before summer...stranger things have happened!!! And Shonda....You now owe me a blog post!

Its all about results...

First let me say that I am sorry I have been gone for so long.....we have had one whirlwind of a summer...school starts in 3weeks!!! Wow...I am so not ready! 

Now...results...

I don't know how many of you have been following my blog for very long, but in my new years resolution post I mentioned that I want to lose weight this year.   Thats a pretty common resolution and pretty common to not keep.  However I did start out trying. 

About 4 years ago I started counting calories religiously using spark people.   I lost about 40 lbs. And felt great.  I hit a plateau and at some point in the busyness of life stopped tracking calories.  I didn't gain it back right away...in fact I kept most of it off until about 1 1/2 yrs ago.  I gained back 20 lbs in 6 mos.  I was not proud and I attributed a lot of it to stress.  However I would start trying to lose again using my fitness pal (a similar but better) app.  This time was different.  The weight wouldn't go.  It was so frustrating.   I started beating my self up over it for not being consistent enough or cheating.  Both were true sometimes, but it didn't add up.

I figured I would try adding running or more exercise in general.  I felt great, but I started gaining weight...talk about frustration!  Summer came and it was so busy I just figured I would try to be good but wait til fall to start again. 

Well during this  summer I had some blood work done.  The results of the thyroid panel were off quite a bit.  After some more blood work we decided to start taking synthroid.  I had wondered if thyroid issues might in part be behind some of our infertility issues but it never occurred to me that it could be prohibiting me from losing weight. 

Fast forward 5 weeks and I am now down 7 lbs.!! Its not a lot but it is nice to finally see some results!  It is so much more encouraging to keep making healthy choices about food and exercise when you see results of your hard work!  So my update on the resolution...my goal was 60lbs this year...I am 7 lbs down...I don't know if I will make it but I am going to try!

I have about a million posts to update you with about my summer and I am going to try to get them all up this month so bear with me!

Austin

After a great time in Ft. Worth (including lunch today at my fav...Fuzzys) we left this afternoon and made it to Austin.  I am excited to spend the next two days preparing for and celebrating my sweet niece Haylie's birthday.  I can't believe how big they all are...Haylie is almost 4 (on Saturday)...Becca will be 2 in two months!... and look at how big this little peanut is getting...7 months old and growing like a weed...it seems like just yesterday was Thanksgiving and she was a little 5 pounder...just makes me so thankful that we live close enough to see eachother and let our kids grow up together! 

Coffee coffee

I know I said no posts til later in the week and here I am with a post...turns out I had a little down time this morning.  Speaking of this morning...if you know me then you probably don't talk to me much before I have had coffee...well when I am in ft worth either Donna or I usually goes to get coffee since she doesn't have a coffee maker (yes...I love her anyways!).  So this morning I woke up in time to go get it beforw my first client.   I ordered my grande americano black (because we don't do no wimpy coffee) and after I paid for it, the barista said the most blessed words known to man...or me..."we accidentally made two americanos...do you want the extra one free?"  Oh starbucks...I love you and your blessedly strong coffee and I love you for the 2 for 1 today!  The way to my heart is definitely coffee (take note!)!

Tour o Texas

I am currently on day 2 on our tour o Texas....jk...I am going all over though.  Me and the girls are spending yesterday until thursday morning in ft worth catching up with friends and of course I am doing hair.  The girls are doing their 3rd round of VBS at FBC Benbrook, our old church.  On Thursday we will head to Austin to help set up for my niece Haylie's birthday party on Saturday.  I can't believe she is almost 4!  I don't anticipate another blog post until Thursday or friday this week as I am so busy doing hair, so....so long for now!